About Me

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I am a writer. I began by writing the world's shortest short stories.Each no longer than two lines:one on the cover, one inside.(Birthday cards for pals in school;-). Then I wrote slightly longer stories in the ad agency JWT. These stories lasted 30 whole seconds. After 30 years of having the time of my life, I quit, to write even longer stories. Travel Stories, reviewing eco-friendly hotels for Traveltocare.com. (That's free travel, free stay, free food.) And then I wrote something really really long. An entire Book. It's called "Don't Go Away, We'll Be Right Back: The Oops and Downs of Advertising". And now, another one. "Runaway Writers". It's about a Ghost Tweet Writer, and therefore has about 140 characters in it. (I mean the people, not the length of the book...:-)

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

[iDiva] Who Moved My Paneer?


Image courtesy: ©2009 Jupiterimages


A handy tip for health-conscious fat- fighting travellers zipping down the highway of temptations: do not exceed the feed limit.

Aha! But you're on holiday here…and don't we all need some extra fuel for those jam-packed holiday activities ahead? And what's jam without a generous layer of butter first…
That's why I love those Breakfast Included places to stay in. And although I have a careful less-cheese, more-paneer, less eggs, more fruit plan in my normal day, I reach the free-breakfast buffet table on my holiday and a compelling voice inside me says: "You have paid a lot of money for this free breakfast already! Now tank up. Eat for the whole day… You're only being sensible, not greedy!"
So suddenly eating nine types of breakfast foods, from three types of plans, and also squeezing in "live dosas" made on the spot, (and hey look, hot pancakes and syrup too; now how did we miss that?), …becomes quite the thing to do on holiday. And when there's a daylong safari through elephant country ahead, eating like one is in order.
Anyway after this one indulgence, I figure I'll be eating like a bird for the rest of the day. Only by the time lunch comes around, I'm eating like a bird all right-and the bird is a raven (so how else do you explain the origins of the word "ravenous'?)
So just give up and give in. And when you come back to good earth and wonder, where did all that holiday money go?? Stand sideways and look in the mirror.

This article was featured on http://www.idiva.com/opinion-entertainment/who-moved-my-paneer/2079

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

[iDiva] Look What I Picked Up On My Travels



Image courtesy: ©2009 Jupiterimages
One picks up strange stories during travel. One even picks up germs-or rather stories about germs. As I did in the US a few months ago.(Panic not! I don't mean the swine flu…)
I heard this lively discussion on a local US channel, where an expert told us: it is wrong to make beds immediately after waking up! Apparently, the germs arising from one's body sweat at night were still mingling with the sheets and pillows, and it was better to just leave them be for a while-till the fresh morning air made them disappear.
While that's great news for every lazy bachelor-pad inhabitant (why make beds when I'm coming right back here to sleep by day's end?); I must say we exclaimed: "Whatever will these germophobic Americans come up with next!"
Well, I'll tell you what they came up with next. A chap called Simon Sassoon (yes, a relative of that hair chap Vidal ) was pretty worried seeing his girlfriend touching the door handle of a hotel's rest room during a date (eek, what if she tries to hold hands now…) and suddenly thought of an invention called the HYSO.
It's a small white plastic box on rest room doors that frequently gushes out a fine dry disinfecting mist killing all germs on the door knob below. His girlfriend is now an ex (maybe he handed her surgical gloves to wear for the rest of the date, making her mad,) but young Sassoon has made his millions with his clever invention.
So too the guy who invented the personal portable hand strap to hook on for those sweaty bus commutes. Or the lady who invented Sani-shopping, a snap-on plastic cover for shopping trolleys.
While we may have laughed at this in the past, suddenly the swine flu panic is making all these inventions make terrific sense. And despite suspicions of the origin and spread of swine flu, the US has the world's largest number of germ-fearing compulsive obsessive disordered people in the world.
And what do you say about this: there's a story of this American-so conscious of germs, that he even refuses to travel to Germ-any…



This article was featured on http://www.idiva.com/opinion-entertainment/look-what-i-picked-up-on-my-travels/2078

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

[iDiva] Madonna-ji Slept Here


Image courtesy Reuters
"Come, I will show May-donna room!"
Bhagirath, my young colourfully turbaned room attendant was taking me on a walking tour of Rohetgarh-the incredibly beautiful heritage hotel located between Jodhpur and Udhaipur. The 'secret place' that the pop diva had chosen to stay in for her New Year 2008 date with India!
A magnificent wild peacock stepped politely aside as we approached Room 30. "May-donna's children Lourdes, Rocco and David loving these peacocks and trying to catch!" said Bhagirath.
With a flourish Bhagirath threw open the door to Madonna's suite. The one that most caught her fancy after inspecting many choices, apparently. An intricately painted arch led to a plush bedroom-themed in red. Attached, an ornate bathroom…did Madonna do some practice moves here with that handshower, for her upcoming album Hard Candy?
The tour continued next door where her husband chose to stay (well!) "Gai Rijji very very good man! Children always playing here…" The kids too had been given their own luxury suite with their nanny, a room away.
And what about the Material Girl's huge entourage of minions who checked in three days earlier to 'check things out'? In the plush rooms below, near the garden apparently.
"May-donna's bodyguards stay in your room only Madam" said Bhagirath. Well well, so I was staying in the 'servant's quarters'…! More Madonna lore followed.
In the exquisite central courtyard of this 300 year old haveli, Madonna, resplendent in her Rajasthani costume, had performed an amazing impromptu dance one night. I could tell from Bhagirath's face that Rohetgarh had never seen anything so astounding.
Just before I left, Bhagirath appeared outside my room with a 'secret' he wanted to share: a framed piece of notepaper. And on it, in Madonna's own handwriting, was her extra special thanks for looking after her and her kids. "Dear Bhagirath…how I wish I could take you back home with me!"
I took a picture of the grinning Bhagirath. And now I can casually say at the next society party I'm invited to: "Madonna and I had the same room attendant looking after us at Rajasthan…"
This article was published on http://www.idiva.com/opinion-entertainment/madonnaji-slept-here/2064

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

[iDiva]- Camels Are Good For the Sole

I have begun jotting down notes during my travels in a small book that should please the environmentalists: while the pages are hand-made paper, the cover is made out of recycled camel. Now before Maneka Gandhi sends out her men to get me, let me assure everyone that the camel that helped make my book cover died peacefully one day in its sleep, well into old age? Or so was the impression I got from the gent in a small bylane in Udhaipur selling camel-skin souvenirs like books and hand-made juthies. (His name was Harischandra-so I'm inclined to believe he was telling the truth).


But I do admit to a sudden wave of guilt and panic when I was standing in line to take a camel ride recently in Rajasthan. My little travel book was inside my bag! Would this camel sniff it out and get upset that his recent ancestor was now a notebook??
Anyway it was too late- Ranjit (for that was his name) was sitting before me and looking at me benignly through his thick eyelashes. Now I don't know if you ever got on a camel before, but the experience is quite like being back in kindergarten: first you see-saw forwards as the camel gets its gangly back legs up; then you rapidly see-saw backwards when the forelegs untangle themselves.
Yeeeee-aaaaaah!
That was me screaming in chorus along with the camel-keeper urging Ranjit away on my ride. And I realised why it is called "the ship of the desert"-the sudden lurching with each step could leave the weak-stomached feeling quite seasick?
But not me. Proud of my ready ability to adjust to the challenges of travel, I even managed a happy wave to my sister taking pictures for our holiday album. And remember the next time you head off to Dubai or Jaisalmer or Cairo: the trick of easy camel-riding is-- you have to see when the camel sees, and saw when the camel saws.
This was featured on http://www.idiva.com/opinion-entertainment/camels-are-good-for-the-sole/2083